continuing silence

7/9/14

  "How long has it been? You are going to talk again, right?"
  I've been hearing these questions from people a lot lately.
  I think many of them see this period of silence i'm doing as a burden on me. They think of it as a deprivation that i can't wait to be done with. A majority of these people enjoy talking, and maybe revel in noise as well.
  It has occurred to me that in some unconscious psychological bent, one of the reasons i began this "year of silence" was to perform some kind of penitence for my transgressions of the past. It's entirely possible.
  I often make many of my art pieces never really knowing why, until months or even years later. I make most of my artworks out of instinct. I compulsively cobble things together and figure out the semantics later. While i no longer consider this endeavor in silence to be an artwork, the basic principle still applies.
  I honestly don't know if i will make noise again. To me (so far), this isn't a sentence i'm serving, it's a vacation.

continuing silence

7/7/14

  My ears have been clogged up for a few weeks now. They've been like this ever since i was sick a while back. I should get them checked, but i'm really enjoying the quiet.

continuing silence

7/5/14

  There are a couple of older dogs that i take care of whose "owners" tell me that they're going deaf. Yet, i could say the word "treat" from a mile away and both of them would be in front of me in 3 seconds
  I think that both dogs just got tired of fetching...

continuing silence

7/4/14

  July 4th, a day we celebrate in the U.S.A. by making as much noise as possible.
  It strikes me that the fireworks we enjoy so much on Independence Day, are a mimicry of the sounds of warfare. "...rockets' red glare... ", " ...bombs bursting in air..."
  I wonder if the sounds of fireworks are as pleasing to all of those that have heard similar noises on the actual battlefields of very real wars.

continuing silence

7/3/14

  Orfield Laboratories informed me via email that i couldn't spend any time alone in their anechoic chamber ("the quietest place in the world") unless i was representing a major media outlet. I was told the only way i could experience it was to be part of a tour group.
  Creating an absolutely quiet environment is an amazing feat. Keeping a tour group quiet is an impossible one.

continuing silence

7/2/14

  I visited an art gallery recently. It was one large space where quite a few pieces by different artists were hanging side by side.
  One piece consisted of a video with accompanying soundtrack that played continuously on a 20" monitor hung on the wall. The video was quite good as were many of the other works on display. However, the video went from quite good to relentlessly monotonous the longer i lingered in the gallery. The sound of it endlessly playing over and over as i tried to enjoy the other artworks soon became unbearable.
  I can stand in front of a great piece of Art literally, for hours. My eyes never tire of drinking in the sublime excellence of quality Artwork.
  My ears do not have that kind of patience, however. Maybe they are atrophied by years of neglect. One result of this is that i've never developed any real appreciation for music, although i believe it to be a valid and complex Art form. All my energy is devoted to seeing things, perhaps at the expense of my other senses. Every part of me is in my vision.

continuing silence

7/1/14

  Being a jerk is similar in many ways to being an alcoholic. Jerks tend to be loud, and are oblivious to the way their selfish, subjective, behavior annoys those around them. Once you've been a jerk for an extended period of time, you are a jerk for life. Although, you may learn to gain control over the condition once you've recognized the problem.
  I personally, have learned to second guess everything i say and do. I have to be careful, because often my first reaction in a given situation is the subjective, "jerky" one. Quiet reflection has become an essential aid in this aspect of "rehabilitation".
  I envy the people who look back on their younger years with warm nostalgia. I now objectively look back on mine with revulsion and regret. While guilt and regret can easily turn self indulgent and morbid, they can also be a great starting point to realizing a different approach to life is required if one ever expects to find peace.