a year of silence

2/12/14

  Just because i think or believe something doesn't make it so. In my own mind, i'm an artist who explores the world, trying to convey my observations through various media. From many other people's viewpoints, i'm some weird doorknob who needs to cease this nonsense and resume talking immediately (preferably at the next available job interview).
  My rather tenuous means of income has already suffered a bit because of this experiment in silence. I have also lost contact with a few people i thought i was close with.... and it's only been about a month since i started. I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with the face to face intimacy that is required when conversing with me one on one. But a lot of these friends have discontinued text communication as well.
  As might be surmised, i am not a "people person" in any sense of the word. Having the interpersonal skills of an irritated porcupine coupled with an obsessive devotion to Art, does not make for a large circle of friends. Maybe this latest project was the "last straw" for a few of them.
  Nothing is entirely anything. Simply put, i think it was a combination of factors that caused these friends to fall by the wayside. Often, many of us feel that convenience is an important aspect in any  relationship. We don't date people who live too far away, and we don't stay in touch with people who make communicating more difficult.
  I do not take stated or inferred criticism lightly. I strive to see myself and the world with complete objectivity. Therefore, i am left wondering how desirable a friend could i have been in the first place, to have been so readily dismissed.
  I am not harming anyone with my silence (except maybe myself), so it will continue
uninterrupted. Truth can be an unpleasant thing, so many of us go to great lengths to avoid confronting it. But all quality Art contains some truth that cannot be ignored.