2/5/14
Before beginning this piece, i would frequently talk to myself. I am someone who is alone often, but rarely lonely, so i don't think my "self conversations" evolved from a sense of isolation. Rather, they were a way for me to organize my thoughts. My head was so busy that i had to voice thoughts in order to sift them from the clutter.
Having a lot going on in your brain doesn't necessarily make you a smart person. On the contrary, i think a good part of intelligence is just being able to achieve a singular clarity of thought. My mind is noisy with petty problems, ruminations over occurrences long past, and the experiencing of (and desire for) sensations.
I think many of us live for excitement. It doesn't matter if it's putting up decorations in the anticipation of yet another holiday or raptly watching some gruesome catastrophe on the evening news, we crave sensation. Sex, drugs, power, status and buying stuff, can become lifelong, all encompassing pursuits. An entire lifetime can be lived episodically, just going from one sensation to the next. It is very easy to avoid thinking or reflecting entirely.
If you turn down the volume in your head you are opening the door to more reflection. Vapid songs no longer repeat endlessly in your mind, so it is no longer necessary for you to voice your thoughts out loud in order to organize them. But is a lot of quiet reflection a desirable thing?
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