Tuesday, February 11, 2014

a year of silence

  If i came with subtitles this would be a lot easier.
  Many people do not want to take the time and effort necessary to engage in "conversation" with someone who does not speak. When i run into acquaintances who were formally quite chatty, i now just receive a silent wave or a cursory hello before they move on. Often, before i've quietly mouthed three words, people become exasperated and exclaim that they can't read lips. If i try to communicate by writing things down, they quickly become impatient at the extra drain on their time.
  People have busy lives and anything that might involve sacrificing a little bit more time has to be very important to them. Many of us will not go to a movie if it involves reading subtitles, forget about taking the time to indulge an artist who refuses to speak.
  The most important thing any of us possess is not our home or our car. It is our time. Yet we seem so ready to barter it away for things that we don't really need and that have no lasting value. We work at jobs we despise for 40, 50 or 60 hours a week, so we can make the payments on all our stuff. Many of us eagerly watch the clock, actually wanting the time to pass more swiftly in between ephemeral moments of fun. We will wait in line for hours to get into a nightspot for 40 minutes. Rushing from activity to activity, the time spent in between is considered a waste and treated like empty space.
  I do not like the passing of time. Time is only a friend to the grief stricken and brokenhearted. Otherwise, it is a cheat and a swindler. I love to look at the clock and see that it is earlier than i thought. Yet, i refuse to wear the cold face on my wrist... constantly reminding me of my mortality, its hands flailing away on my life. We think we have all the time in the world, while in truth we have very little.
  I think it's important to make priorities in order to best utilize our precious time. I try to take every moment possible and smell, see, feel and taste it. I will turn moments in my hand to examine every facet, and i loathe to let them go. So, i completely understand if someone doesn't want to take the time to try and communicate with me. Their priorities are probably very different than mine.

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