Monday, January 27, 2014

a year in silence


  Although it seems almost impossible to be entirely, peacefully, present in a single moment, being silent has had a very calming effect on me so far.
  At first, i thought not speaking would make me tense. I worried that i would have no outlet for any frustration that might arise. But not being able to yell and carry on has actually had just the opposite effect. Instead of winding myself up with angry talk, spiraling deeper into greater rage, my anger quietly dissipates through silence. If a difficult problem arises, i no longer throw my arms up in loud frustration. I now calmly think it through. Loud noises, mine, or from my environment, have become noticeably more jarring and unpleasant.
  I no longer have any urge to speak whatsoever. I don't want to disturb this quiet i have discovered. I smile more, to silently express gratitude for extended courtesies. I learn more from those around me by quietly listening. I no longer regret words spoken in spontaneous anger or ignorance. It is still very early in this endeavor and things may change, but i feel more at peace now than i have in a long time.

No comments:

Post a Comment